Anxiety In The Time Of Corona

By Ali Whitney

I think it’s safe to say that we are all in a weird place right now. Uncertainty can feel unsettling, which is why it’s important to focus on the basics. Whether you, or someone you love is experiencing anxiety due to COVID-19, there are some helpful things that you can do to get through the rest of this real-life episode of the twilight zone! 

1) Utilize Outlets/De-Stressors. Gyms, cafés, and other public places are closed for business. If it’s raining grab an umbrella and take a walk, if it’s sunny smile at the sky! Pull your bike out of the garage and pump some air into the tires. Make the kids go play out back and throw on a Youtube workout video! Draw or paint a picture. Talk to your partner about sectioning time for both you and them out of the week/day to have alone time/ exercise time. We can all easily make excuses to not take care of ourselves during this pandemic; check in with your people and make sure that they are practicing self-care! Every beneficial action that we take will make us a healthier, happier, and stronger people at the end of this.

2) Sleep Cycle. Planning to wake up and go to bed at the same time is important because while it maintains structure in your schedule, it will also ensure that you get the proper rest you need. When our minds are exhausted this can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other stressors.


3) Maintaining a Schedule.
Whether you are working from home, all of a sudden a certified teacher homeschooling your children, cooking 3 meals a day when you don’t usually cook one, it can truly feel like a lot. It is ESSENTIAL to balance your day out in any possible way, and this can mean something entirely different for everyone. From ensuring that you eat your meals at the same time each day, to getting off the computer to stop your work day, it’s important to keep everything in a designated “box.”

4) Keep Connected. As human beings we are social creatures and we thrive from having conversations, seeing our friends and colleagues, talking and sharing stories. We are fortunate that this pandemic is happening at a time where we have access to use services like FaceTime, Zoom, Facebook Messenger, and so on. 

In utilizing all of our coping mechanisms, connecting virtually with our friends and family, maintaining our schedules, and getting rest and good foods into our body, WE CAN DO THIS. Remember, we are all in this individually, but more importantly we are all in this together.

Summer Time is Their Time: Custody During Summer Vacation

My kids have amazing summers!

They get to spend 9 glorious weeks at the summer sleepaway camp that I grew up at.  A place that has always been my second home and my safe place to land.  I started going right after my own parent’s divorce and continued well into adulthood as staff.  When I could no longer take summers off I still made sure to visit and attend alumni functions every chance I got.  My camp family was always in touch.

Shortly after my own divorce I returned for an entirely different kind of summer, with my twin 3 year olds in tow.

I was able to give my babies a safe place to land as well.  And we thrived!

And we continue to thrive.  Summers away give kids a chance to explore and challenge themselves in the best way possible.  We unplug from the world, we unplug from our devices, we unplug from so many of our daily stresses.

It also turns our parenting schedule entirely upside down.  My ex only sees them one day a week for the whole summer.  I get to be with them every night but on my only day off each week, I am bringing them back home to visit her.  We all give up something.  And it’s not without difficulty, but it brings so much reward.

This summer our babies grew in leaps and bounds.  They went on hikes, they learned to swim almost entirely without their puddlejumpers.  They navigated new friendships and being reunited with old friends.  They learned to handle crowded dining rooms and social scenes they don’t get to encounter at home.  They went to a water park and the movies, learned songs and dances.  They spent the summer being kids and came home ready for kindergarten.

They have no idea what this means for them yet, what seeds we planted.  But one day they will be so glad we didn’t spend the summer fighting over who gets to have the kids when and instead gave the summer to them.  It’s not my time or my exes time.  It’s their time.  And they loved it!

Plan A Parenting Schedule That Works For Your Family

Recently we found this great article on parenting schedules for people that are co-parenting but not living together. It covers a many different considerations and offers advice on how to create a schedule that can work for the whole family.

Disclaimer: This is not legal advice from our team, but a great piece written by Ryan Howard from SmartParentAdvice.com

Your Local ‘Power Couple’ Safeguarding LGBTQ Rights!

Check out our Patch article!

https://patch.com/new-jersey/montclair/montclair-power-couple-safeguarding-lgbtq-rights-new-jersey

Your favorite local LGBTQ rights advocating, rock star Family Law Attorneys! Making things better right here in Montclair.

Making Choices For Our Kids

We didn’t agree on a lot of things when we were married. We had a lot of feelings clouding our judgement. There was a lot of stress distracting us from prioritizing. After our divorce was finalized and everything was written in ink and signed off on, it all got easier.

It wasn’t quite overnight, but over time we grew closer and more capable of healthy communication when it comes to our kids. We had been on the same page before we got married and now we are back on the same page. We just needed to get rid of some of the other aspects of our relationship to become the parents we were meant to be.

So while some minor details aren’t always agreed on, we seem to always find a good place to land when it comes to the big issues. Like our children’s wellbeing, mental health, and meeting their individual needs.

Our daughter comes with a whole host of needs. Not all of which made sense to us at first. And not all of which came with any sort of “how to” guide. Allowing our child to transition was the simplest and hardest thing to come to terms with. We both knew who she was and who she needed to be allowed to be. We both were terrified of messing this up. We consulted wit ha specialist. We met with other families, some in real life, some virtually. We took it slowly and followed her lead.

Most recently, we signed documents and mailed out a check. We finally gave our girl what she needed in order to be able to live her life. A child shouldn’t have to come with an explanation or a “heads up” before starting a new class. A child shouldn’t always have to enter a new arena by waiting on the outskirts while their parents explained to the adults in charge what to expect. And now, she won’t have to.

https://www.nj.gov/health/forms/reg-l3_1.pdf

https://www.gardenstateequality.org/faq