How Do I Know if I Should Get Divorced?

Deciding whether to file for divorce is an intensely personal determination that only you can make. While it can be helpful to solicit advice from family and friends, you ultimately must make the decision personally. What is right for your sibling or your best friend may not be right for you. This also is not a decision that you should make quickly. Give yourself some time to fully consider the various factors that you should take into account when making decisions about divorce.

First, consider whether your desire to get divorced is based on rational reasons or raw emotions. Are you simply angry or upset with your spouse, or have you been considering divorce for a long period of time? Have you already attempted to repair the problems with your marriage, or are you just reacting to something that your spouse has done or said that has hurt you? Take some time to determine whether you truly believe that you would better off on your own, or if you still have hope for your marriage.

Next, ask yourself whether you are staying in your marriage solely for the sake of your children. The reality is that your child is smarter than you think, and probably can tell that your relationship with your spouse is troubled. Listening to you and your spouse fight on a regular basis is not healthy for your child. It teaches your child that dysfunction in your marriage is part of a normal relationship, which is not exactly the healthiest of lessons. At the end of the day, your child will recover from divorce, and hopefully learn the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.   Just because you do not have a functional marriage, doesn’t mean that you can’t have a functional and healthy coparenting relationship.

Determining whether to file for divorce can be a very complex decision to make, so you will need to consult a New Jersey family law attorney about your rights and obligations under New Jersey law. We are here to help you make the decisions in your case that will best benefit you and your family in your divorce or related legal matter. We are here to answer your questions, ease your mind, and help guide you through what is likely to be a difficult proceeding. At Argentino Family Law & Child Advocacy, LLC, we handle many legal matters that relate to families and children. Contact our office today and see how we can assist you with your New Jersey divorce case.

Easing Your Child’s Transition From One Home to Two Homes

A divorce or separation results in a great deal of change for a child, but perhaps one of the biggest challenges is successfully transitioning a child from having one home to having two homes. Particularly in the early stages of divorce, making a child feel comfortable in each parent’s separate residence can be tough. However, with some simple steps, you can ease your child’s transition between homes and help him or her become accustomed to having two different places to call home.

First, whether only one parent is establishing a new residence, or both parents have moved to new places, you should allow your child to participate in furnishing and decorating his or her own space. Give your child the chance to pick out paint colors, bedding, and wall décor, even if it wouldn’t be your choice of colors or style. Permitting your child to decorate his or her own bedroom can go a long way toward making the child feel comfortable in a new residence.

Next, take the time to make your new space familiar to your child in some ways. Let your child bring a bag with a treasured stuff animal or blanket back and forth between the two homes. Get a nightlight or lamp that is similar to what the child has at his or her other home. Try to work with your child’s other parent to split up or share familiar belongings between households, such as your child’s cups and dinnerware, favorite bath towel, and sports memorabilia. This allows your child to customize his or her surroundings with a mix of new and familiar items.

Keep some common items in both homes so that it isn’t a disaster if your child forgets an essential item. Stock both houses with a toothbrush and toiletries for your child, as well as extra sets of pajamas, underwear, and socks. Make sure your child has clothes in both places, extra pairs of shoes, and an extra jacket on in both houses, if it is possible to do so. This step can avoid many situations that might cause your child to become upset.

Divorces and separations are never easy, particularly for children. Even in the best of circumstances, children are likely to feel the stress of the situation. During times like these, it is hard to make the decisions that are truly best for you and your family, especially when it comes to legal matters that affect your children. It is in these kinds of cases that a New Jersey family lawyer can be most useful to you and truly make a difference in the outcome of your case. Visit our website at http://argentinolaw.com. You also can email us at info@argentinolaw.com, and one of our staff members will get back to you right away.

What is Human Rights Day All About?

The United Nations General Assembly designated December 10th as Human Rights Day, in celebration of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which is a document proclaiming the inalienable rights to which everyone is entitled. This year, Human Rights Day sets off a year-long campaign to mark next year’s 70th Anniversary of the Declaration. The rights set forth in the Declaration are inherent in every human being, regardless of race, religion, color, sex, language, political or social opinion, national or social origin, property, birth, or other status. The goal of the Declaration is to establish universal values and common standards for all people and all nations.

All United Nations member states have consented to the basic human rights outlined by the Declaration. Although it is not a binding document, it has supported the creation of more than 60 additional documents concerning human rights, which collectively make up the international standard of human rights. Available in more than 500 languages, the Declaration is the most translated document in the world. The Declaration has inspired the following pledge to support universal human rights:

·         I respect your rights regardless of who you are. I will uphold your rights even when I disagree with you.

·         When anyone’s human rights are denied, everyone’s rights are undermined, so I will STAND UP.

·         I will raise my voice. I will take action. I will use my rights to stand up for your rights.

At Argentino Family Law & Child Advocacy, LLC, we acknowledge Human Rights Day in order to promote awareness of the many local, state, national, and global issues that impact different groups of individuals in today’s society. While we celebrate the steps that have taken thus far in support of human rights, we also are cognizant of the need for continued work in the area of human rights. It is our goal to help raise awareness of these issues in the state of New Jersey. Since our daily work deals with families and children, we know how important human rights are, particularly for those individuals whom society tends to marginalize.

Should you need assistance with any family law-related matter, we are here to help and give you the advice that you need. Contact our office by e-mailing us at info@argentinolaw.com or call us at (973) 868-0958 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced family law attorneys today.

How NOT to email your ex

Most people have access to email, and during a particularly contentious divorce, it is often the recommended method of communication for parents. For one thing, email forces parties to slow down and consider their words before hitting “send,” as opposing to speaking or sending a quick text message in anger. You can avoid saying things that undoubtedly will come back to haunt you in the future. Additionally, email messages allow you to document who said what, as well as when it was said, both of which can avoid future arguments and confusion.

With that said, there are some general guidelines that you should follow when emailing your ex. First, stick to business. Think of raising your child with your ex as a business, where the goal is to cooperatively and successfully nurture a child into a healthy and happy adult. You don’t need to correspond with your spouse about anything other than issues related to your child. Leave the emotions and negativity out of it. Say only what is necessary, and leave it at that.

Next, keep your tone as neutral as possible. These emails are to communicate about your child, not to air your grievances about your ex. Rather than berating your ex for failing to let you know the time of your child’s choir program, simply confirm the time and ask that she let you know in advance next time. Likewise, instead of making threats to your ex about what steps you will take to punish him or what will happen to your children if he fails to follow through with his promises, just acknowledge the issue and move on. Be polite and professional, just as you would to a stranger or a business client, and refrain from saying anything negative.  In order to keep yourself in check, it may be helpful to think about the fact that whatever you write is likely to be viewed by third parties in the future (like a judge or a custody evaluator).

If communication is particularly difficult, parents may want to consider a communication aid such as Our Family Wizard.  https://www.ourfamilywizard.com   For a relatively low cost (particularly when compared with the financial and emotional costs of litigation), parents have a central location to email each other with timed responses, elimination of negative/aggressive wording, uploading of bills for reimbursement, and calendar sharing.  

The New Jersey family law attorneys at Argentino Family Law & Child Advocacy, LLC, are eager to answer your questions and help you understand how the law pertains to your legal matter. We try to come up with creative solutions for parents to better communicate and independently move forward without the need for Court intervention.  In a mediation capacity or as a parenting coordinator, we can make suggestions and help you move through a parenting dispute.  As your attorneys, we will focus on how best to represent your interests and achieve your desired goals. We have handled countless parentage, divorce, and other family law proceedings over the years, and we will work with you to create the best strategy possible in your case. Call our offices today at (973) 868-0958 and learn how we can help you with your New Jersey family law case.

Mental Health and Child Custody Issues

If you are a parent, you know how difficult and demanding it is to be a parent, particularly at certain points in your child’s life. The responsibilities and stress involved in raising a child can be problematic for a parent with mental health issues. While there are many parents with mental health conditions who are great parents, the fact is that a parent’s mental health condition can negatively impact his or her ability to parent, especially if the condition remains untreated. As a result, a parent’s mental health condition, to the extent that it affects a parent’s fitness or ability to properly parent a child, is one of the factors that a New Jersey judge can and will consider in making a custody determination that is in a child’s best interests .

A parent with a mental health disorder does not automatically bar him or her from having custody of a child. The fact that a parent has a mental health condition does not necessarily mean that contact with that parent is not in the child’s best interests. So long as the parent can remain an active, involved parent while still managing his or her mental condition appropriately, and does not put the child at risk of physical or psychological harm, that parent’s mental health disorder may not affect his or her ability to obtain or maintain custody of a child.

In a child custody case, a judge is likely to consider the following issues related to a parent’s mental health:

  • The nature of the parent’s mental health condition
  • Whether the parent is compliant with the recommended course of treatment
  • The stability of the parent’s home environment
  • A history of the parent being hospitalized
  • Recommendations from mental health providers and custody evaluators

Child custody cases can become very emotional and difficult, and even more so when mental health issues are involved. We know how to handle child custody cases that involve mental health concerns and can help you work toward the most desirable outcome in your case. Whether your case involves mental health or another family law-related concern, our New Jersey child custody attorneys can guide you through every step of the proceedings necessary to resolving your legal matter. Our role is to be here to answer all of your questions, calm your concerns, present your potential options, and help you to make any necessary decisions in your case. At Argentino Family Law & Advocacy, LLC, we have represented the interests of countless families and children in all types of family law proceedings. Contact our office today at (973) 868-0958 or by e-mail at info@argentinolaw.com and set up a time to talk with us about your case.